Both Leah and Jacob had to deal with unmet expectations in their marital relationship. Jacob had hoped for and worked for 14 years to get the beautiful Rachel of his dreams, but he ended up with a nightmare in Leah. Leah, on the other hand hoped that somehow, the heart of Jacob will warm up towards her and accept her. probably with having children. She gave her first three son names that indicated her expectations and frustration. With Reuben she hoped for love, with Simeon she hoped to be heard and with levi she longed for attachment and commitment. What does commitment have to do with living with unmet expectations?

LEVI: The Bedrock of Commitment

Levi was the third son of Leah. Levi means attached, connected, committed. This implies a stay-with-it-ness to relationships. A commitment that says you are in for the long haul with the back door closed. One may not always have the cozy feelings of love but true love is a commitment to be devoted to a person regardless of what they do or how you feel. Commitment is the bedrock for solid marital relationship even when situations rock the bed!

I love my husband dearly but there are times I don't feel that love and I may even feel irritated by him. There are times that he also feels that way about me, but we know it is not always about feelings. Feelings are informed by thoughts. Feelings are not facts and they are transient.

you can feel anything for anybody,

Commitment and attachment is the virtue that is demonstrated over a long period of time even when the love cannot be reciprocated. The story is told of an elderly couple who had been married for many years. The wife was in the final stages of Alzheimers and had no knowledge of who the husband was. Yet the husband lovingly cared for his wife daily. Bathing her, combing her hair, feeding her and just making her comfortable. A friend of the family then asked him why he was doing these things even when the wife did not recognize him, appreciate nor reciprocate all he was doing. The husband softly said, “she may not know who I am or whom she is but I know who I am and who she is.” That is commitment right there. When you are having Leah experiences in life, one of the first things to be tested is the level of commitment. Jesus asked his disciples when the going was getting rough, “Will you also leave?” (John 6:67) He confirmed His commitment to us by saying, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Even when we turn ‘Leah’ on Him we are not to abandon our life projects be it marriage, career or business just because of unmet expectations and disappointments.

However, if one is in an abusive relationship where life and safety is threatened, it is advisable that a person physically separates from the dangerous environment and seeks for help. God set up six cities of refuge for the children of Israel that were in close proximities to the tribes for the purpose of safety as an interim measure of protection against unjust physical assaults . Thus a person who feels in danger may run there and be safe till the case can be judged. (Numbers 35:15)

"You don't have to stay in a relationship physically where your life is in danger,”

You need to stay alive so that God can work through you. You do not have to be the first to initiate divorce but may be separated for safety reasons. The bible does not endorse domestic violence, neglect or abuse. Anyone who does these things is not taking care of his/her family and is worse than an infidel (unbeliever) (1Timothy 5:8)

Levi was the tribe that God chose to be the priests. (Num 18:2,21) Levi also calls for priestly duties in our homes. The roles of intercession, confession, and forgiveness come with Levi.

"You really don't know true intercession until you are in pain," 

John Maratori once said, "you really don't know true intercession until you are in pain," You don’t know what it feels like to agonize in prayer until something is biting you. As a minister, I interceded for people, prayed for women who had problems with children, with all of enthusiasm. However, the intensity and effectiveness of my intersession became higher when I started facing challenges with my own children. I knew experientially what it meant to receive phone calls from the police concerning my own child. I could pray a mother through feelings of shame because I knew what it meant to sit in front of a Judge because of my child and not in my professional duties as a Social Worker. 

We may not know what to say or how to say it but the “ Holy Ghost prays for us with groaning that cannot be altered” (Rom 8:26) God understands the tears of the broken heart of parents. He sees the scars on the heart of wounded spouse. When you are shocked into the reality of the ugliness of Leah instead of all things bright and beautiful as expected in Rachel, pray. James 5:13 “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray.” Pray for that situation, pray for your husband, pray for your wife, intercede on their behalf, whatever that situation is that is causing you pain That is making you feel like you have been shortchanged, lift it up unto God. Keep on praying and do not give up. Do not be anxious about anything but with prayer and thanksgiving; make your requests to God (Phil 4:6). That is what Zechariah and Elizabeth did. As a young couple, they came into their marriage with the hope of having children but now in old age, they were faced with the reality of no one to carry forward the family name. What a Leah! Yet Zachariah continued to minister to the Lord as a priest and prayed for his wife. He knew that the problem was with Elizabeth (Luke 1:7) He did not blame her, reject her or take another wife. He ‘Levied’ her. He stayed committed and interceded. God heard and answered his prayers.

Fathers and husbands, are called to be priests. Mothers and wives are called to be intercessors. When we keep on praying and interceding heaven responds.